Everyone Becomes A Little Crazy
by Happyteehee
Summary: Full title: "Everyone Becomes A Little Crazy When They Live With A Giant Duck!" Katsura Short stories! A compilation if you may, with our favorite Joui member. His sillyness is an inspiration, really.
1. Gift

**ZURA-KUUUN~! ^_^ (Zura ja nai, Katsura da!)**  
**  
I wanted to write something with Katsura, he's hilarious! So here you go! :D**  
**  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or the characters (sadly)!**

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"_Here's a late birthday present for you, Zura! Use it well, ahahaha!"  
_  
Katsura read from a duck-themed card sent by Sakamoto. Katsura looked at the present he had received and he didn't know what to do with it exactly. Elizabeth held up

a sign that said;  
**  
"You should just throw it away, you have no use of that, anyway."**

Katsura gasped,

"Elizabeth! This is a gift from that idiot Sakamoto; you haven't forgotten that Sakamoto sent you to me. Ever since that day you and I have had a lot of nice adventures,

haven't we, Elizabeth?"

He said with a stern voice, he looked down at the gift again and swallowed.

"So, you say your name is Suzanne? Hm~, well I think you will fit right in here, Suzanne. Welcome to the Joui! And just like the name – we do have a lot of joy here."

He said and smiled; Elizabeth shook his head and slammed the door after him.

_"Thank you, Kotaro-kun~_"

Katsura said in a female voice,

"Kotaro-kun ja nai, Katsura da."

"_Oh, my bad~!"  
_  
Suzanne said.

"Hey, what's wrong with Katsura-san? He's been talking to that blow-up doll for a long time now…Is he going to be okay?"

A Joui member asked another member,

"Who knows. I heard he hit his head when he fought in the war?"

"_Kotaro-kun, feed me would you?"_

"Kotaro-kun ja nai, Katsura da! Ah! Sure Suzanne!"

The two Joui members exchanged looks, shrugged and sighed. From the room they could hear Katsura and "Suzanne" talk about the newest Famicom console,

"Our leader sure is crazy…"

"Yep, you said it…"

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_**I don't know if this was okay or plain crap, but I enjoyed writing it. Katsura is such a weirdo XD**_

_**I don't know how many chapters I'll write, but at least two more :D**_

_**Until next time,**_

_**- Teehee~**_


	2. Katsura ja nai, Zurako da!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or the characters!**

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Katsura clapped and said in a stern voice;

"Everyone! Have you remembered your positions? This is a very important mission, if we fail here, we _will_fail at life itself."

The room got silent, Elizabeth held up a sign that said:  
**  
"Nakajima, Unkoru, Tobo and Saito will come with me, the rest will go with Katsura-san."**_**  
**_  
"Hai, Elizabeth-san!"

Everyone shouted Katsura had a smile on his face; they would not fail, after all. He was glad, he was glad that Mademoiselle Saigou let them entertain the customers.

Kats-..Zurako looked in the mirror and brushed her long raven black hair.

"Alright, girls! Let's go get them~!"

Zurako said in a sing-song voice, and stepped on the stage to perform for the customers.

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**I had to post another one!**  
**Oh, and in the last chapter the blow-up doll Suzanne is from episode 130, it's the Kintaro Arc ;)**


	3. Assignment

**Third chapter on the same day! I can't help it, it's so much fun (and I know I'm supposed to write on my OkiKagu fic, but blah!) and yeah, it's fun : ]**  
**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or the characters!**

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The assignment was easy; "**Who**** do YOU want to be in the future?**", yet a young Katsura Kotaro found it difficult to say. He wanted to matter, that he knew, but he

didn't know what he wanted to do exactly. Takasugi Shinsuke didn't seem to care at all, but he _did_ however, have a very strong opinion on the _Bakufu_and he wasn't afraid

to speak loudly about it. Sakata Gintoki was quite the opposite; he would often sleep in the back of the classroom. He didn't speak much either, but Katsura considered him

a friend.

"The dead-line is on next Wednesday, a week from now so don't forget to hand it in."

Shouyou-sensei spoke in a friendly manner, Katsura loved to listen to his sensei, he always said the most inspirational things, even though he didn't always understand it.

"_Who do I want to be? Hmm…someone who is nice and just and brave! I want to be a samurai – like Shouyou-sensei!"_

He thought and started to scribble down his thoughts and hopes for the future, he looked at his classmates and smiled, wondering what their future would be like.

* * *

**I doubt this is accurate; this is just my interpretation of how he was when he was young. He seemed like he cared a lot about his sensei (like the others did), but I think he wanted to be more like him. Especially the hair, it looks like Shouyou's "style". But please don't hate this! ;O **

**Until next time,**

**- Teehee~.**


	4. Festival of the Eye Patch

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or the characters.**

* * *

Katsura didn't know why Gintoki was so irritated with him, he had the perfect disguise; _Captain Katsura._Surely no one would recognize him.

"Oi, Zura! Your identity is not concealed with just an eye patch!"

Gintoki yelled at his former _Joui_comrade, Katsura chuckled,

"You're too naïve, Gintoki, and _Zura ja nai, Captain Katsura da_."

"Zura, did you fall on your head or something?"

"Leader, you're here too?! How is Sadaharu-dono, is he here, can I pat him?"

Katsura asked gleefully with red cheeks,

"No way, Sadaharu don't want to be molested by a fake captain."

Kagura said while picking her nose and flicked it towards Katsura who avoided it. They were at the Sakura festival and Katsura had invited the Yorozuya. Elizabeth was

wearing a big black beard which freaked out the Jack of all trades trio. On the other hand, it was a good enough disguise to hide from the Shinsengumi, because four

known faces were coming closer and closer, they were eyeing the Captain with the weird-looking thing beside him. Katsura pressed a button on one of the time-bombs

he always carried around and waited for the four to come closer. What he didn't think about was that he had set the bomb to go off in 5 seconds, which it did. The

Yorozuya didn't talk to him for a while after that…and he was being chased by the Demon Vice-Chief and the Captain of the 1st division all around in Edo. It was just a

normal day for Katsura Kotaro and his ever loyal companion Elizabeth.

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**Not to happy about this one, but meh... It felt a little forced, but I wanted to upload something while I'm writing on my OkiKagu fic.  
****The next short story I think will be about Katsura and Ikumatsu, they're so cute together. ^^**  
**Until next time,**

**-Teehee~.**


	5. Soba

**I uploaded another one, sue me! x] Please don't... ._.**  
**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or the characters.**

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Ikumatsu served Katsura a warm bowl of Soba, he thanked the ramen shop owner and picked up his chopsticks and started to slurp. Ikumatsu smiled, she

didn't mind having the Joushishi member around and he would occasionally bring his friend Sakata Gintoki along whom she shared nice chats with, as well.

"It's delicious as always, Ikumatsu-dono. I'm really starting to think that you should teach me how to make such delicious food."

"Thank you, Katsura-san, but what would the _Joui_do without you if you're here all the time?"

She said and smiled at him, it looked like he was actually thinking about her question, then he answered;

"I guess you're right. Ah, Elizabeth! Don't use a fork! You have to use chopsticks when you're eating so-…you're eating a hamburger?! What-why-when-who?!"

Elizabeth opened his big beak and threw the hamburger down; another one was already lying on his plate. Katsura continued to act like a new war had

started, his hands were in his hair and his expression was one of those of a very depressed human. Ikumatsu laughed and greeted the customer who walked

in; "It's been a while, Gin-san, please have a seat!"

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**Very, very short :3 But I liked it, I'll write another one with Ikumatsu, but I don't know when :p**  
**Until next time,**

**-Teehee~.**


	6. What A Flirt

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or the characters.**

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"Mister! Hey, Mister! Don't you want to come inside and look at all our cuties? They're willing to tell you anything, you know!"

Katsura said while holding up a plaque with tempting words and a photo of a half-naked woman with a seductive pout. Elizabeth had smeared his face with make-up and a

wig with long brown hair. Katsura himself was wearing a suit with a red bow-tie, looking rather handsome. A lot of women had come up to him and asked if he worked as

a host at another place, but being Katsura he didn't get what the flirtatious women tried to tell him.

"I'm sorry, I just hold the plaque, but if you want to donate to a special organization you can call me at this number."

Apparently that wasn't a good way to get money for the _Joui_; the women thought he was a hooker.

"Ah, ladies! Please tell your friends about me!"

"What a creep!"

"Yeah, why are all the handsome guys so weird and creepy anyway? Can't there be a normal guy somewhere?"

Two bypassing women said, they gave Katsura dirty looks and continued to gossip.

"Tch! When you have no money you have to become dirty, become dirty and you'll be rewarded."

Katsura said,

"I've been dirty and poor for a long time, yet I haven't been rewarded."

A melancholy Hasegawa said, he was lying in a doghouse,

"No, I meant dirty as you have to do stuff you usually wouldn't do. I didn't mean a disgrace. Hey Mister, we have some very beautiful women here!"

* * *

**This had no plot, it was a bit boring, too. Well, I hope you guys at least liked it :]**


	7. Bruised

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or the characters.**

* * *

"I will never tell you!"

Katsura sneered, he was backed up in a corner and blood dripped down from his head, he was starting to feel dizzy, too.

"If you don't tell me, then won't be able to help you, Casserole-san."

"Casserole-san ja nai, Katsura daaa~!"

Katsura jumped towards the doctor who was looking rather exhausted by the crazy man's actions. He took one step to the side and Katsura fell yet one more time, the

night table beside the bed fell on top of his legs and he screamed. The doctor suspected that something like this happened before the nurses found him lying on the sidewalk

by the hospital.

"Katsura-san, may I help you now?"

"Y-yes…"

* * *

**I don't know if these are funny or not, but I'll make one more after this and that will be with Ikumatsu~!**

**-Teehee~.**


	8. The Rollin' Ramens

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama  
Enjoy!**

* * *

The sounds of the Shinsengumi's car sirens could be hear throughout Kabuki-Cho, Katsura was just happy he was safe at Ikumatsu's place.

"What do you mean by I can't stay here anymore?" Katsura asked the blonde woman in front of him, "It's not like I'm throwing you out, it's more like you're scaring my

customers. Nah, that's not it either; it's your…pet, Elizabeth, right? Well, its been scaring the living crap out of them and you now that if the customers get scared they

won't come here. No customers, no work – no work, no house. Got it?" She said, feeling a bit mean towards the Joui patriot. "Basically what you're saying is that

Elizabeth is like Yoko Ono." "No, I never said that and we're not The Beatles, either!" "What about The Ramens?"

Ikumatsu sighed and gave the man a soft smile, "Katsura-san…You must help me out here, I can't lose this place." Katsura didn't have to think twice after seeing the look

on his boss' face. "Of course. Then what about The Rollin' Ramens?"

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**Finally I finished it! It was supposed to be a lot more romantic, but it's Katsura...He's too dense, at least that's what I think. **  
**Thanks for reading!**

**- Teehee~.**


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